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The Green Thing

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At the cash register of the

store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her

own shopping bags because plastic bags weren't good for the



The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this

green thing back in my earlier days."


The cashier responded, "That's our

problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for

future generations. You didn't have the green thing."


She was

right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.



then, we returned milk bottles, soft drink bottles and beer bottles to the

store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and

refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were

recycling. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and

we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor

just because the blade got dull.


But we didn't have the green thing back

in our day.


We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in

every shop and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb

into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.



she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.


Back then, we

washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried

clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts --

wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got

hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new



But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing

back in our day.


Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not

a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief,

not a screen the size of the Melbourne Cricket Ground. In the kitchen, we

blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do

everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the post, we used

wrapped up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We

used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't

need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on



But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back



We drank water from a tap when we were thirsty instead of demanding

a plastic bottle flown in from another country. We accepted that a lot of food

was seasonal and didn’t expect that to be trucked in or flown thousands of air

miles. We actually cooked food that didn’t come out of a packet, tin or plastic

wrap and we could even wash our own vegetables and chop our own



But we didn't have the green thing back then.


Back then,

city people took the tram or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or

walked instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one

electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen

appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed

from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza



But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we

old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back



Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a

lesson in conservation from a smart-ass young




Don't make old people mad. We don't like being

old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to **** us off.

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And this..........................................................



[TABLE=class: ecxMsoNormalTable]





[TD]When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the

30-year business I ran with1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays

music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I

signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their

spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the

modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only

140 characters of space.


That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up

for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck,

Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other

program within the texting world.


My phone was beeping every three

minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire

next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the

garage in my golf bag.


The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday

because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store

or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's

red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in

line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards

was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a

little loud.


I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the

lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a

long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."

You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate

me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the

next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good


When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the

name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as

Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.


To be perfectly frank, I am

still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had

them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones

all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking

bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.


The world

is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the

grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but

this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a

loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but

I never remember to take them in with me.


Now I toss it back to them.

When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am

bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was

recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot.."


P.S. I

know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to

those who are.

We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The tv

remote and the garage door remote are about all we can
































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