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etpi

Die getroude lewe

 

Hi, came across this one today (don't know if it's old or new) just had to share it.

 

 

DIE GETROUDE LEWE!

 

 

Drie vriendinne, een in 'n informele verhouding, een verloof en een 'n

lank getroude vrou, ontmoet oor 'n paar drankies na werk.

 

Hulle besluit om hulle liefdeslewens bietjie op te kikker en die manne

in hulle lewens te verras met 'n stoutigheidjie.

 

'n Week later kom hulle weer bymekaar.

 

Die enkel meisie sê, "Ek het na my vriend se kantoor gegaan met 'n

lang jas aan. Na almal weg is het ek die jas laat Val en al wat ek

aangehad het was 'n leer korset met swart sykouse en hoëhak skoene.

Ons het net daar op sy lessenaar liefde gemaak."

 

Die verloofde vrou sê, "Toe my verloofde by die huis aankom, het ek

vir hom gewag met 'n swart masker, korset, sykouse en hoëhakke. Ons

het die hele nag passievolle liefde gemaak, en nou wil hy vroeër

trou."

 

Die getroude vrou sit haar glas neer en sê, "Ek het baie beplanning

gedoen. Die kinders is na my ma toe, ek het 'n lang bad geneem met

gegeurde olie en my beste parfuum aangespuit. Ek het in 'n stywe leer

korset geklim met swart sykouse en ses duim hoëhakke, alles afgerond

met 'n swart masker. My man het by die huis gekom, 'n bier en die

afstandbeheer gegryp, homself op die bank neergeplak en uitgeroep...

 

Hei Batman, wat eet ons?

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Howard Neill

If you are asked to contribute money to help solve the unrest in Egypt, ..

.................don’t fall for it, it’s a pyramid scheme!

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lilythepink

Painful Puns

 

1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

 

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

 

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

4. A backwards poet writes inverse.

 

5. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

 

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

 

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

10. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

 

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully

recovered.

 

13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 

14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

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Howard Neill

Excellent! :cheesy:

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Howard Neill

How the Internet Really Started

 

A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):

 

Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here's the TRUE story ....

 

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

 

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.

 

Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

 

And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

 

And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"

 

And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for

sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.

 

And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

 

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

 

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

 

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted - for insider trading.

 

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.

 

They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

 

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.

 

And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

 

And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

 

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

 

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

 

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

 

It soon became known as ***'s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)

 

And that is how it all began.

 

 

Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuly!!!

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Cali Craft and Gems

There's a big conference of beer producers. The presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

 

The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller. Then to everybody's amazement the president of Guinness orders a Coke.

 

"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.

 

"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."

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DestinysAngels

R0ses are rEd, Nuts are br0wn. Skirts g0 up Pants g0 d0wn. B0dy t0 b0dy, skIn t0 sKin. When It is stifF, sTick iT in. The l0ngEr its in, The str0nger iT gEts. It g0es in dry, c0mes 0ut wEt. It c0mes 0ut dripPing and it staRts t0 sAg. *Itz n0t what y0u Think* > > >Its a TEABAG < < < ;-)DirTy miNds (^^,)

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Cali Craft and Gems

Man in hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth.

"Nurse" he mumbles

"Are my testicles black?".

Nurse raises his gown, holds his **** in one hand and balls in the other,

She takes a close look and says, "there's nothing wrong with them sir".

The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

"Thanks for that, it was lovely but listen very carefully, ARE-MY-TEST-RESULTS-BACK?

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lilythepink

A ROOSTER CALLED JACOB

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilise the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

 

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

 

The farmer's favourite rooster was old Jacob, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Trevor noticed old Jacob's bell hadn't rung at all! Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

 

But to farmer Trevor's amazement, Jacob had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

 

Trevor was so proud of Jacob, he entered him in the Polokwane Country Fair and Jacob became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Jacob the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet Surprise as well.

 

Clearly Jacob was a Pulletician in the making: Who else but a Pulletician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

 

Do you perhaps know of a Pulletician called Jacob?

 

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Howard Neill

Tax Return Humour from UK Inland Revenue

 

Funny money | Money | The Guardian

 

Dear Mr Addison,

 

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more-than-prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise.

I will address them, as ever, in order.

 

Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we, at the Inland Revenue, have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.

 

Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer, I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised.

 

In common with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see you as a "lackwit bumpkin" or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole.

 

Which brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores", whilst far more than you have accounted for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system".

 

A couple of technical points arising from direct queries: 1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system; 2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even if the Personal Allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics involved would make it financially unviable.

 

I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please forward it by Friday.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

H J Lee,

Customer Relations.

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lilythepink

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.

 

They include:

 

Herman's Hermits--- Mrs.. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

 

Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

 

The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

 

Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

 

Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

 

Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.

 

Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

 

The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

 

Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

 

Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

 

The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

 

Abba--- Denture Queen.

 

Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

 

Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

 

And my personal favorite:

 

Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.

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retailrush

Ever wonder how the internet "really" started? Read on.....

Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here's the TRUE story ... In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

 

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had often been called Amazon Dot Com.

 

And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

 

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"

 

And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

 

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

 

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abrahams business. But he was discovered, arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.

 

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

 

And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

 

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

 

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dots idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

 

And that is how it all began. Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ly!

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lilythepink

Some great quips and quotes ...

 

"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." - Louis Nizer (1902 -1994)

 

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

 

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

 

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

 

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

 

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway

 

"He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul." - David Lloyd George

 

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Winston Churchill

 

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

 

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

 

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

 

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

 

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

 

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

 

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

 

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

 

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Talleyrand

 

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

 

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

 

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

 

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty." - Oscar Wilde

 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

 

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

 

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

 

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts. . .for support, rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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lilythepink

Two old friends having a chat in heaven...

1st woman: Hi, Wanda!

 

2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die?

 

1st woman: I froze to death.

 

2nd woman: How horrible!

 

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

 

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

 

1st woman: So, what happened?

 

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

 

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we'd both still be alive.

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lilythepink

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

Ø I asked G0d for a bike, but I know G0d doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay cheques.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... So I said "Implants?"

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Edited by lilythepink

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Cali Craft and Gems

This is an absolute CLASSIC! Only a South African will understand it!

 

Boere Computer Dictionary from South Africa

Monitor

Keeping an eye on the braai

Download

Get the firewood off the bakkie

Hard drive

Trip back home without any cold beer

Keyboard

Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys

Window

What you shut when it's cold

Screen

What you shut in the mosquito season

Byte

What mosquitoes do

Bit

What mosquitoes did

Mega Byte

What mosquitoes at the dam do

Chip

A bar snack

Micro Chip

What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

Modem

What you did to the lawns

Dot Matrix

Oom Jan Matrix's wife (classic!)

Laptop

Where the cat sleeps

Software

Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC

Hardware

Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers

Mouse

Mouse Pad

What eats the grain in the shed

Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat

Mainframe

What holds the shed up

Web

What spiders make

Web Site

The shed (or under the verandah)

Cursor

The old bloke what swears a lot

Search Engine

What you do when the bakkie won't go

Yahoo

What you say when the bakkie does go

Upgrade

A steep hill

Server

The person at the pub that brings out the lunch

Mail Server

The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch

User

The neighbour that keeps borrowing things

Network

When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet

Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape

When fish maneuvers out of reach of net

Online

When you get the laundry hung out

Off Line

When the pegs don't hold the washing up

Floppy Drive

When you take your plass wekkas to the clinic

Blog

Shortened version of Braai Log

Virus

The reason your wekkas go on a floppy drive to the clinic

Anti-Virus

The medication the wekkas get at the clinic

Virus protection

Free condoms for the wekkas at the clinic

Stiffy

What happens to the wekkas when the anti-virus doesn’t work.

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Cali Craft and Gems

To make it stand, you wet it!

To make it wet, you suck it!

To make it stiff, you lick it!

To get it in, you push it!

Blimey, threading a needle when you get older is no joke!

 

(get your minds out the gutters people! LOL)

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booksallsizes

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

 

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

 

'You talk?' he asks.

 

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

 

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

 

 

 

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

 

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

 

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

 

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

 

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.

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wayjen

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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Seeds for Africa

Just came across this and had to share it!

 

They are changing the SA Cricket teams Protea Emblem to an artiChoke!

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lilythepink
Just came across this and had to share it!

 

They are changing the SA Cricket teams Protea Emblem to an artiChoke!

 

As awful as the vegetable tastes! Good grief.

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Guest Guest

I hope the picture is OK...

554..jpg.4ba6fcf31a56387daf13807fcadb2abb.jpg

 

 

A few facts about the human body...

 

58f5a721d851f_Afewfactsaboutamp.jpg.1e704299d9e2eb13b7cc50b998d08177.jpg

Edited by Edmund1000

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TS Ron

There is a little girl standing on the pavement next to her is a basket. A big black limo draws up next to her the man gets out with his heavily gaurds at his side. Hello little girl what is in your basket. Oh kittens she answers.What kind of kittens are they?They ANC kittens reply the little girl.

The man explains to the little girl he is the President of SA as he departs. Then decides to call his PA and inform of these wonderful breed of kittens. Eish why do you not go out there tomorrow with all the press. This was organized. The next day the President arrives again with the little standing on the pavement the basket of kittens nearby. Mr President introduces himself once again to the girl. Patiently telling her that she must tell all his important friends what the name is of the breed of kittens. Looking down at the basket the girl grins as she replies they DA. No Mr President yells most disgusted. Yesterday you said they were ANC. Thats correct the girl replies! But yesterday their eyes were closed today there eyes are open.

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Seeds for Africa
There is a little girl standing on the pavement next to her is a basket. A big black limo draws up next to her the man gets out with his heavily gaurds at his side. Hello little girl what is in your basket. Oh kittens she answers.What kind of kittens are they?They ANC kittens reply the little girl.

The man explains to the little girl he is the President of SA as he departs. Then decides to call his PA and inform of these wonderful breed of kittens. Eish why do you not go out there tomorrow with all the press. This was organized. The next day the President arrives again with the little standing on the pavement the basket of kittens nearby. Mr President introduces himself once again to the girl. Patiently telling her that she must tell all his important friends what the name is of the breed of kittens. Looking down at the basket the girl grins as she replies they DA. No Mr President yells most disgusted. Yesterday you said they were ANC. Thats correct the girl replies! But yesterday their eyes were closed today there eyes are open.

 

Excellent. V good!

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TS Ron

A Blonde blue bull supporter from Pretoria is sitting in the bar with two guys beside her.

The first guy says to the barman, "Johnnie Walker. Single."

And the second blurts,

"Jack Daniels. single."

At that, the bartender approaches the lady and asks, "And you ma'am?”She answers:"Katryn van der Merwe, divorced"

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